Death of a View

The roses that aren't being picked, are making my path more beautiful today. Yet the so called (relation, situation, partner, companion)ship which once was a thing, is now a parasocial one for me. I never in my life thought that I would give up on some(thing, one), but here I am with a knife in my hand, which I might have used for picking roses before is now being used to plant them.

Perception, a view of the world, their world, from their eyes. But all eyes have their weakness, their truth, their belief, their arrogance for what the world is. But sometimes the tears wash them away, new worlds are born, new views, new ideas, a completely new picture forming right behind(before?) their eyes. Though what it is remained unchanged, what there is, is something different from what there was.

There was a time when I justified that the flowers were meant to be picked, and they were meant for me to be picked. The ones without life in them were more precious, more meaningful. Values change, dead flowers are nothing but litter, nothing more than a wrapper to a well thought present(as in time), made to be torn(thrown) away.

The simplest of the sentences can feel cryptic, with hidden messages. But the ones I write neither make sense without the message nor only the message itself. These aren't stories that I write, these are the realities that I relive each day differently, from different perspectives and see from eyes of different people. This could mean a lot of things and at the same time nothing.

We humans crave being seen, being noticed, being understood and none of us think that what we are, are wrong, are bad. We don't think negatively of ourselves, and we don't want others thinking negatively about us. But, fear, that evolved to save us from danger, is now hurting ourselves. Not saying anything, not having views, is far easier than having a negative version of you in someone's mind because of your views. This is hurting us all, this is why we don't talk, we run away from being a part of the drama but at the same time we love to be the audience, and we love to feel it (to be the protagonists in the drama), in other words we love to be the winners in the drama despite having a view or an opinion of who was correct.

I don't like how we are moving ahead with fear. To be incorrect, to not always be the main character, to let our experiences be judged no matter the outcome, to get framed (both in good and in a bad way) or to be loved (both in good and in a bad way) is just how we know things, it's the way life works, it's the way tears fall, it is the way perspectives change.

Believing in something is different from believing in what you are and what you can do. Truths change, but beliefs remain. If you believe in the ability of yourself to do something, it should not be able to be changed by someone's perspective of you, but beliefs toward something should be moldable.

Why am I saying all this? It is because I have gone through perspective shifts and they are painful. One day, you will believe something that you wish you didn't believe in, you'll cry(or die, to be born again). That day these texts will mean something to you if it doesn't now. And that day you'll know that the thing that you were waiting for was just a wish to a falling star, just a false, hopeful, belief and the only thing you will want is for things to get better, though now it won't have any effect on you because those dead roses will have crumbled away and the roses you planted will already have died.